True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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