Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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