sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize
