yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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