On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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