Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize