yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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