Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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