I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
