he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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