So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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