Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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