I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
