After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I just googled if crying burns calories
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
