Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize