The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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