my vag is so smooth its legendary
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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