i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize