i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
