That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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