Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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