Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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