I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
