My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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