Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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