i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
