and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize