If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
