she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
