Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
