i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
It's official drugs can't kill me
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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