do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize