Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
