You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
