I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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