I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
