First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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