So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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