You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
