I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
