i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
This is the high leading the old right now
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Randomize
