Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize