to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
