It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
