she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
