I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Randomize