I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
My pussy is not your playground.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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