I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Actions speak louder than pants.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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