There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
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I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
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I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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