WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
