I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
