can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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