Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
