i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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