made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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