Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
