I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My dad is sitting where you rode me
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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