Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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