i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
