Nicole vs. Life
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
